The Un-Assertive Idiot

We all have that will to please when we get a new job. Yes, sure, understood – most of us are freshers and need to prove ourselves and all that jazz, but at what cost?

Did you ever make coffee for someone you didn’t have to?
Went out of your way to give someone a ride?
Agreed to an impossible deadline?
Taken on more than you can deal with?
Felt demeaned but brushed it off just because you can’t say no?

Breaking news – you aren’t obliged to do that all of that sugar!

Assertive, assertive.

Here are a few tips for saying NO.

1. Smile

Believe me, smiling really is the solution to almost everything! If leaders of the 2 blocks had smiled more often, the cold war could’ve been avoided. Refuse the order to make that coffee, with a smile. In today’s generation people don’t realise that smiling works like smileys.
“Fuck off :)” See what I mean?

2. And give a believable excuse

“I’m feeling a little sickly and am off to make the world’s worst coffee, hoping I’ll feel better.”

3. Apologize

“I’m sorry, really am”

4. Compensate

“…But give me until tomorrow, and I will make you a mean cappuccino to make up for it!”
Don’t worry, we’ll deal with what happens tomorrow, tomorrow.

5. Sail to the wind

Of course you can’t always be giving excuses. At times you can just give the truth.
“I’m in a rush and will not be able to give you a ride today.”
“Completing the project by that deadline is frankly impossible. Can you give me until ___”
“I’m currently handing this and that. Can either be kept on hold so I can complete what you seek?”
“I don’t like your face, it makes my skin crawl. Plus you stink.”
Ok probably not that.

Only remember, you are allowed to say no. Sometimes, you’re even expected to, and asking you is simply wishful thinking on their part. We’re humans after all, and have our own personal bandwidth, and stretching that is called exploiting. We’ve all been that unassertive idiot a few times. Don’t let it continue.

 

 

First Salary Dilemma

There’s nothing like that excitement prior to receiving your first ever salary.

I’ve never been short of cash, owing to my generous pocket money, but the feeling still isn’t the same. Your salary is your own hard earned money, to be spent without any guilt or obligation.

“I should treat myself, buy that leather jacket I’ve been wanting since forever.
And something for my dad.
And boyfriend, bless him.
Maybe a striped tuxedo for my cat.
Oh and that hot air balloon ride I’ve been meaning to take for so long!
And also invest, yes that’s the smart thing to do.
Ah yes, a new phone!
Oh God, I’m filthy rich.”

That never happened. I was so engrossed with work I never even noticed the deposit in my bank balance. When I finally figured, I’d already blown it on street food, recharges and fuel.

And I was poor again. Bankrupt, I liked to exaggerate. And I refused to accept dad’s ‘pocket money’, much as I needed it, out of sheer pride.

Since, I’ve grown smarter with my cash. I’d learned the hard way that you’re never really rich, and have created a whole pattern for spending.

1. Tax, well TDS, blah

So the 10% of my salary paid to TDS can actually be claimed back! I was sceptical at first, but since it’s happening, might as well list this as my savings.

2. Investment

For when I’m unemployed again, since my ego has proved to be too big to borrow any cash. A huge 40% of my salary is invested into medium and low risk assets.

3. Shopping

I reserve 20% entirely to cross of that ever expanding list of things to buy. If it isn’t enough, then I combine the 20% of a few month’s worth of salary to buy it. That way, I’m never over-shopping. Smart? If I manage to pull it off, yes.

4. Hang-outs

It’s Monday. You’ve spent more than you intended to in a moment of drunkenness last Saturday. You decide the following weekends going to be chilled out. You, your cats, your pyjamas, a good book. Come Wednesday, the weekend’s all you look forward to. Come Friday, your friend’s call you out. You remember your earlier promise but hell, to friendship! Repeat. There goes 20% of your salary. Over.

5. Others

I like to think this includes the 10% of balance remaining in my bank account. Never happens, no. But noting it down here makes me happy.

I’d bet my life’s savings (haha, get it?) that this pattern really could work. A few ratio adjustments, and it could work for anyone in the same boat as me.